Fruits for the Week

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It is normal among people to insist on coherence and harmony. People know that differences between people can be wildering when confronted with these differences. It might also lead to bitter conflicts and discrepancies. However, it is customary among people to seek agreement from others as well. On the other hand, one forgets to force himself to agree with others and have harmony with them in the same fashion.

We are living in an age in which everything in it is increasing and widening in varieties. We could easily note that the options and alternatives on every level have become vast. Consequently this can lead to enlarging the circle of differences with others more what was known before. This, of course, requires us to understand the issues of agreement and disagreements with others in a better way. It may be useful to do the following, in order to have a better understanding for such issues:

1. differing with others is one of the basic laws that Allah laid down for His creations. This is what we can understand from the Holy Qur’an: “and among His signs is the creation of the heavens and earth, and the variations in your languages and your colours. Verily in that are signs for those who know.” (Al-Rum: 22).

2. the existing difference between our intellect, souls, and inclinations is much similar to the existing difference between our faces. It is impossible to find two faces that are one hundred percent similar in terms of features and details. Nevertheless, on general terms, every face has the same general features such as cheeks, eyes, eyebrows, forehead, nose, mouth, and chin. Similarly, people have general issues that gather them together, but in terms of minute details, they are different from each other. We ought to accept this situation at a face value.

3. Allah, originally created people with different natures. Some are optimists, while others are pessimists and doubtful about every other person. Some are patient, calm, and perseverant, while others are easily agitated, quickly get angry, and they lack patience. This leads to many daily frictions and conflicts with others.

4. there are individuals who are brought up in a family who treats their children with ease, comfort, and even being spoiled. Therefore, such individuals think that life is very easy and all people are good and kind. While on the other hand, others are brought up in families who suffer injustice and tyranny: father’s injustice, stepfather’s tyranny, or even stepmother injustice. Therefore, such people look at the outer world through black glasses and would have an evil thought about everyone else whom he meets.

Therefore, one should not look at himself, as though he is the basis for everything. He should not expect everyone else to be a ditto, or a carbon copy of himself. Everyone else has praiseworthy thing and blameworthy thing as well. Everyone else has something that is right, and has something that is wrong.

We have to understand the viewpoints of others, their backgrounds, and their circumstances. Accept other people’s apologies, pardon their mistakes, and overlook their shortcomings. Consider such practice as a part of our behavioural pattern with all people.

We have to deal with differing with others as a source of wealth and variation not as a deterring factor that weakens the nation or causes harm. So long as we agree on major items, there is no harm in disagreement on minor and sub-issues.

When differing on an issue that is possible to be right or wrong, then we should realize that the majority is right. However, when people differ on issues that are clearly right, then, the right ones are those who provide the sound and the correct proof of evidence.

Let’s accuse ourselves and not accuse others. Let’s not point an accusing finger towards others. Let’s use dialogs and discussions to reach the best compromise in terms of issues of difference. Wallahu a’lam.

(Prepared by Abdul Muhaemin Karim)

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