Fruits for the Week

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The Prophet (saw) said:” It is better for a man to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle than it is for him to touch a woman whom he is not permitted to touch.” (At-Tabrani)

In many communities of the world, the prevalent custom for men and women is to greet each other by shaking hands, hugging, or kissing on the cheek; conversely, if one refuses to shake hands with the opposite sex (including cousins and non-mahram relatives and in-laws) for the sake of religious obedience and trying to stay away from any sexual temptations, she/he is considered to have gone to extremes. Such an individual is accused of backwardness, rudeness, and wanting to break family ties.

Nothing can be further from the truth, though. Islam is against cultural and customary practices, but it is against anything that could lead to greater evil and corrupt society.

True Islam, meaning submission to the will of Allah (SWT), is not based on what we think or feel is right, or in accordance with our desires and cultural practices. Rather, it means to follow what Allah (SWT) has commanded us to do and what His Messenger (SAW) has sanctioned through his statements and actions.

If we hear a statement from our beloved Prophet (SAW) forbidding something that is not considered to be sinful in our traditions and culture, then it does not befit us to start questioning it. Indeed, Prophet Muhammad (SAW) never issued any instruction as per his own desires; all that he said and did was in accordance with the divine revelation that he received from Allah:” Nor does he say (anything) of (his own) desire. It is no less than an inspiration sent down to him.” (Qur’an 53: 3-4)

Our attitude at all times, toward the commands of Allah (SWT) and His Messenger (SAW), should comprise total and absolute obedience, whether or not we understand the logic or rationale behind it. Allah (SWT) said:” It is not fitting for a believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger, to have any option about their decision. If anyone disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he is indeed on a clearly wrong path.” (Qur’an 33: 36)

If we seriously take into consideration the type of environment in which we are living, we will see that the seemingly innocent act of shaking hands with the opposite sex is indeed harmful. It has various negative effects, apart from the strong warning in the hadith that it would be better to be stabbed by an iron needle than to shake hands with a non-mahram woman (a woman whom one is allowed to marry).

At times, the warmth of a handshake is accompanied by a friendly look, followed by a smile and long conversation. Dates and promises may also follow, eventually leading them to share a bed. The private parts confirm what started with a handshake, or they reject it if a person truly fears Allah. We should take into consideration what the Prophet (SAW) has said about the strong and intense motivating actors that drive a person towards committing unlawful sexual intercourse due to the fitnah of women. Thus, we should derive a lesson and restrain ourselves from the seemingly innocent act of shaking hands with the opposite sex.

Abu Hurayrah (RA) narrated that the Prophet (SAW) said:” Every child of Adam has his share of adultery. He will get it by all means; the adultery of the eyes is looking; the adultery of the tongue is speaking; the soul desires and is passionate; the private part confirms or falsifies it.” (Muslim and Abu Dawud). In another version:” And the hands commit adultery – their adultery is touching; the legs commit adultery – their adultery is walking, and the mouth commits adultery – its adultery is kissing.” (Muslim and Abu Dawud)

(To be continued)

by Yahya M. A. O.

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